How to find a good therapist.

It is often difficult to summon on the courage to call a therapist and start working on yourself, whether is it to recover from something or simply for personal development.

And when we finally take the initiative to schedule a first session, we expect that everything will fall into place from the first meeting, that work will flow naturally, and that we’ll get to feel better soon.

But sometimes a grain of sand slips into the gear. This therapist doesn’t suit us. There is no connection. We expected a lot and it’s like the magic doesn’t take.

If we have enough energy, we might try a second therapist. Even a third if really we are decided. But if in the third still does not fit our expectations, we will probably give up, decreeing that therapy is not for us and that there is no good therapist.

I often hear this story, and I always answer the same thing: a therapist is like a hairdresser, it sometimes takes 10 to find a good one, and it does not matter! Have you never had a bad experience at a hairdresser? Have you never come out of an hair salon with a catastrophic haircut ? Have you ever had to deal with a hairstylist who only did what he wanted and didn’t listen to you?

I’m sure this has happened to you, probably several times. And yet have you stopped cutting your hair yet? I do not think so, no…

In order to undertake therapy work, whichever method you choose, you will first need to find a therapist you trust. You should be able to feel heard, listened and safe. You should be able to speak freely, without fear of being judged, and be able to hear what the therapist has to offer you, because you trust him/her.

Ask around, ask your friends, the people who share your philosophy of life, your lifestyle and choices, ask if theymight have someone to recommend you. Take this starting point, and go in search of the therapist who suits YOU. No one said you should find him/her at first attempt. Take your time, it’s an important choice that you make there.

Of course sessions have a cost (if you take a licensed therapist like I am, they may be partially reimbursed), but the parallel with the hairdresser remains the same. A haircut also comes at a cost, and yet you regularly go to the hairdresser without asking questions, because you find it normal.

And really, don’t you think that your well-being deserves the same amount of time and energy as your hair?